Posts tagged ‘Lady Gaga’

A cruel practical joke

I discovered yesterday that I have been the victim of a cruel, heartless and devastating practical joke.

OK sure I have been known to dish out practical jokes on my friends with more enthusiasm than a paedophile watching the local primary school play.

I’d like to use this post as an opportunity to formally apologise to Ceps for doing bad things to his toothbrush. I’d also like to extend an apology to Jimmi for the Captain America suit, to Davo for the hair gel and to Midget for the male escort listings on Gumtree. I’d finally like to say sorry to Mr Chan from Cape Town Golden Dragon Chinese Restaurant for ordering 120 spring rolls for takeaway…..from 12,000 kms away.

Usually I can handle retaliation jokes with grace and dignity. I have certainly experienced my fare share of pranks ranging from drinking dubious pints of ‘beer’ to being placed under the impression that I had offended the Australian chapter of the Polish mafia.

However, this latest action from an unidentified prankster is a monstrosity on such a scale that I doubt I will recover.

You see….yesterday I was browsing through my iPod….and….to my horror….discovered that some cruel person had uploaded on my iPod….the entire back catalogue of…..

Lady….

Fucking….

Ga Ga….

I am shaking from sheer disgust even as I write this. Whoever committed this venomous act, I will find you and bring you to justice. I now need a new iPod because it is most certainly ruined forever.

What if I were to have a house party with my music on shuffle, when all of a sudden I Like It Rough appears over the speakers?

Even that song irritates me because if is obviously about her fetish for facial hair….something which I unfortunately can never grow due to genetic reasons.

Or what if god forbid I were jogging in Albert Park listening to random rock songs when suddenly Bad Romance started playing. I would surely trip and fall over, possibly hurting my foot. Perhaps I could sue her for this.

A frequent interrogation tactic used by the US military is to play Lady Gaga on repeat at loud volumes

A frequent US military interrogation tactic is to play Lady Gaga on repeat at loud volumes

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February 10, 2013 at 9:44 am 1 comment