Posts tagged ‘marketing’

Does God need to review his sales strategy?

God must have a lot of money as he everywhere, controls the world and basically is one hella influential dude.

We can therefore assume that like any decent household brand, he solidly routinely invests in his marketing and sales strategy to drive brand advocacy.

Wrong.

Winter.

London.

Camden to be exact.

I hop out of the tube and am confronted with what appears to be a cross between Santa Clause, a diabetic Colonel Sanders and a salivating homeless bum. This creature (who unsurprisingly has an odour resembling my grandmother’s feet) is holding a hand-painted placard that stipulates in no uncertain terms “all unbelievers will burn in the fiery fathoms of hell”.

Roger is currently refining his communication skils

Roger is currently refining his communication skills

He is yelling “IF YOUR RIGHT HAND CAUSES YOU TO SIN, CUT IT OFF AND THROW IT AWAY FROM YOU!!!””

Excuse me?

Firstly, if Roger The Bum’s words were to be truly adhered to, there would be a lot of sorry-looking one-handed adolescent boys walking around the streets of London.

Secondly, what if you are left handed and have already taken Roger’s advice? How are you mean to throw it away? Headbutt it?

Thirdly, who incorporates the words ‘fathoms’ in everyday English literature?

Seriously, if God is serious about driving subscriptions, he should review his sales strategy and perhaps employ a professional marketing agency.

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April 8, 2009 at 6:52 pm Leave a comment