Posts tagged ‘Nicknames’

Nicknames

Numerous nicknames abound throughout the extended circle of people I know.

From variations of actual names: Davo, Kenno, Robbo, Rossco, Moose, Gazza…

To nicknames that appear to have no justification behind them:
Penny-Trayshun, Hands, Damage, Britney, Feltcher, Psycho Jimmi, Water-Dreams, Scrubber …

From nicknames with multiple syllables:
Wolfgang-Puck-The-19th-Best-Chef-in-the-World (seriously, that’s how he introduces himself to women)…

To monosyllabic names that could be potentially offensive: Coon…

From nicknames derived from personality traits of that person: Poof, Pommy Tom, Kiwi-Pete, Easy, Cuddles…

To nicknames derived from physical characteristics: Skin-Footies, Midget, Fatboy, Shilpa, Billy Idol, Penis, Greg Da Pedo…

Of all the above people, only Greg Da Pedo (Greg) has consistently resisted adaptation of the nickname, despite my persistence over the last 3 years.

He has never been happy about the name, which of course encouraged the name to stick. When we worked together, I was even tempted at one point to introduce him to new clients as ‘Greg Da Pedo’.

The story about how this nickname came about is as follows. A few years ago, our company had a client that held a competition to find the “grizzliest man” in Britain. Users had to submit their most macho picture of themselves and a short description as to why they are Britain’s grizzliest man. The winner received a fridge full of meat.

Greg’s entry description was this: “I should win this competition because I have both extreme intelligence and a muscular physique. ”

He submitted this photo. I AM NOT KIDDING.

ACTUAL PHOTO

ACTUAL PHOTO

When I saw his submission, the immediate dialogue that followed between us went something like this. (When imagining this conversation, remember that Greg has a well educated, upper-class English accent)

Jeffro “Are you fucking serious, THAT’S the picture you’re submitting?”

Greg “Yes”

Jeffro “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!”

Greg “Jeffrey, I really do not understand why you find this picture so amusing”

Jeffro “Mate…in this picture you look like… a sex offender! You resemble a cross between a Boys2Men member and a young Gary-Glitter!”

Greg “I most certainly do not”

Jeffro “You do! It’s bloody hilarious! Ooh stay away from me, I don’t want to be associated with a criminal! You look like either a rapist or a pedophile. So do you like tweens or teens?”

Greg “I find this all a bunch of nonsense. You can be rather immature sometimes”

Jeffro “HAHAHA!!!! I bet you like them immature!!”

Greg “That’s not funny”

Jeffro “Do you know how you always wanted an Australian nickname? Well your nickname can be called Greg The Pedophile!”

Greg “Do not call me that name”

Jeffro “What’s wrong with Greg The Pedophile? It’s an awesome name! You could shorten it to Greg Da Pedo, or even GDP! Yeah!! GDP is IN DA HOUSE!!”

Greg “I really do not appreciate being called a pedophile. It’s insulting and degrading”

Jeffro “Is it seriously bothering you?”

Greg “Yes, how would you like to be called Jeffro Da Pedo?”

Jeffro “I’d actually think it’d be really cool. OK if it really bothers you, I’ll give you two options. You can be called Greg Da Pedo or…..Greg Da Rapist. They both have a nice ring to them”

Greg “I honestly prefer neither of those names”

Jeffro “Too bad, it’s GDP. It even has lyrical potential: ‘They call me GDP – I’m a badass dude. I need small kiddies more than I need food.‘”

Greg “I hate that”

Jeffro “HEY EVERYBODY, COME AND CHECK OUT GREG’S COMPETITION SUBMISSION!!!”

And from that day on, the name stuck.

June 5, 2009 at 2:31 pm 7 comments